I wish I could buy me a spaceship and fly past the sky

I cannot describe my love of being close to the stage at concerts. It makes me feel so special. We could have been closer, but I'm not going to dwell on it (grumble, grumble). Anyway, we were about 15 feet from the stage and it was freaking AWESOME. The Nokia Theater is mad cool, I decided that I want to have my wedding reception there.

We finally got inside at about 8:30ish and DJ AM was spinning/playing/DJing. He was good but after awhile, standing around got old. Kanye was suppose to go on at 9 but didn't come out until 10:30, I think DJ AM was about out of songs to play.

So Kanye finally comes out and he opens with Diamonds are Forever. Now, we knew that John Legend and Pharrell were suppose to guest but I was so hoping for Jay-Z to come out and surprise us all (he didn't). Kanye did a few more songs and then they brought out a piano and BAM! John Legend, the love of my life came out and did 2 of his songs. And then Common came out and the 3 of them did some songs. Awesome. The 3 of them should go on tour, I would totally follow them around the country and be their groupie.

After John and Common left the stage, Kanye started talking to the crowd and played a few snippets of songs he's written/produced for other people. Then Pharrell came out. Now, I saw N.E.R.D. a few summers ago when them opened for DMB in Hartford and they weren't that good. But just Pharrell by himself, awesome. He is hot. And he definitely was checking out some girl in the front of the crowd and didn't stop looking at her the entire time he was on stage. It was hysterical.

So Kanye and Pharrell do some songs, Pharrell leaves, Kanye does a few more songs alone, and that was it. The whole concert was only an hour and a half long but it was definitely fabulous.

I was actually impressed with how good Kanye was live. I had heard/read that he was awful but for the amount of running around and dancing he did, he did a damn good job keeping up and not missing too many lines. And John Legend could play the same song over and over and over and I would still love him more than life. He is amazing. We saw him when he opened up for Alicia Keys last year, and as much as I love Alicia, I think he was the best part of the show (well, actually, the best part of the show was when Chrissie met Derek Jeter). Thankfully, John Legend is playing September 18th at the Bowery Ballroom and I'm going to buy my tickets today!

I love concerts! :-D

On a completely unrelated topic, I know the girl that this lyric was written about:

"At my arraignment, note for the plaintiff
Your daughter's tied up in a Brooklyn basement
Face it, not guilty, that's how I stay filthy"

LOL, I'm totally not kidding!

And here are some hot-ass pictures I took!

BREAKING NEWS

I interrupt your regularly scheduled workday for the following important announcement:

THE MOTHEREFFING PUMPKIN SPICE LATTE IS BACK AT STARBUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG I almost wet my pants I was so excited when I walked in and saw the new sign. This means I have at least 4 full months to enjoy this amazing treat. Time to start doing 90 minutes on the elliptical instead of 45 to compensate!

I think I may need to go get another one before the concert tonight! :-D

#1 Losers

Five years ago, if you had asked me what my weekends would be like at age 25, I would have probably said "have a drink or two at some nice, fancy bar with my fancy boyfriend and our classy friends."

Clearly I had no idea that at age 25, I would be partaking in a beer pong tournament in someones parent's garage where James and I would be the first losers, have to wear a bright yellow plastic visor that said "#1 Loser" on it, get bitten so hard that I have a vampire teeth shaped bruise on my bicep (thank you Kyle), drink beer for about 8 hours straight, eat my body weight in brownies, and end the night doing my second grade ballet recital dance to "I Feel Pretty."

Apparently the binge drinking doesn't end in college!

(Kanye concert tomorrow! With John Legend and Pharrell!)

My latest, ummm, compliment

"I like the way you walk, baby. You walk very nice. No need to rush, slow down!"

OMFG I NEED THIS

Excuse me, I'm whacktose intolerant

It finally happened. I was walking down the stairs to the subway this morning, jamming out to Madonna, when a train came into the station. Since I was listening to my IPod way too loud, I didn't actually HEAR the train. As many of you know, when a train comes, along with it is a big rush of wind. Yes folks, the wind went right up my pretty green skirt and a bunch of people behind me saw my pretty pink (full-butt, thank goodness) panties. I was so flustered trying to contain my skirt, that I dropped my pretty pink IPod too. I tried to ignore the laughter of the people behind me, to no avail.

So of course I just wanted to laugh at myself (very similar to when I fell down the escalator last year) but since I was alone and didn't want to be mistaken for a well-dressed crazy person, I kept my giggles to myself.

Then, to add the icing on the cake, as I went to sit down on the train, the train started to move. And I went flying into the poor lady next to me, did an awesome spin moved, let out a little whoaaaaa, and grabbed a pole. Hopefully no one saw both of my little mishaps this morning.

It's been quite a day!

The Ultimate Insult

Friday night, James and I met "New Friend" who went to our college for one year but neither of us knew. So we are chatting with "New Friend" at the bar and we had the following conversation:

NF: So, how did you two meet?
Me: At RPI.
NF: Oh, so you went to Sage.
Me: Ummm, no, I went to RPI too!!!

(after NF goes to get another drink)

Me: OMFG, I can't believe he thought I went to Sage, I freaking graduated Magna Cum Laude, why do people assume I am dumb, rant rant rant.

Bad move, NF, bad move. Blonde and boobs != dumb.

Nerd Alert!!

Bad things happen in 3s, right??

1. There was a suspicious package on my subway CAR today. Not just on my train, in my actual car. Like 10 feet away. It was nothing, but for a very scary 10 minutes at 57th and 7th today, I was envisioning Gatorade, explosives, and I-Pods all in a black garbage bag.

2. James is going to be traveling for work for SIX MOTHEREFFING WEEKS IN A ROW. Maryland to Hungary to the Philippines. I hate him, his boss, foreign countries that aren't Italy, and everything related to e-commerce business. I think I may quit my job and move back in with my parents. I think I may be more serious about that than I originally thought.

3. I called my mom to tell her about James' World Tour of Awful Countries and she tells me that the dry cleaners (yes, my mom gets me things dry cleaned and she lives 2 hours away) lost my long, fabulous, white Kenneth Cole coat. And this is why I don't buy expensive things.

All this before noon!

Ya want them pretty things, I'm the one ya need to ask!

Last night, we piled into the monster truck and went off to the gym like the good little worker outers we have become. Since the towing incident of last week, we had to park on the street with the rest of the pions of Astoria. So we roll up to the gym and guess what! THE GYM IS NO MORE. That's right, the ghettoness that was Gold's Gym of Astoria is closed the F down. Apparently they lost their lease (overnight?). According to the sign on the door, our memberships would be honored at the Gold's in Woodside. So we pile back into the monster truck and head over to that one. Of course I start complaining on how this gym is going to be even more ghetto since the building looks super gross on the outside and its much farther away, blah blah blah. We get there and get this... IT HAS AIR CONDITIONING! No more sweaty, smelly, leaky, mildew smelling shit hole! This gym is an actual REAL gym! Lots of machines, music, a nice cold temperature, and they actually sell things, like bottled water! And they even have classes (not that I would ever go, I hate classes, but still). So even though its more out of the way and we can't walk to this one (not that we ever walked to the old gym, but we could if we wanted to) I think we will like it more. And I wasn't the only girl there, which is always a bonus.

Also, why didn't anyone ever tell me about this?! Dear God that is the greatest website EVER!!!!!!!!!

I've decided I need to become more financially responsible/independent. This may or may not include getting a new/second job and/or moving somewhere cheaper (not likely). So I've decided that I want to be out of creit card debt by 12/31/06 and have $10,000 saved by 12/31/07. If James and I both can manage this, we may be able to buy a house/condo/co-op/parking space in 2008! Woohoo!

Of course, this means no vacations, no expensive jeans when I finally lose my fatness, and no more online shopping when I am bored.

OMG that sounds like the most boring life ever, I may need to rethink this plan...

The State of the Coutter Address

So a proper update is needed:

Last weekend:

Karen and Kevin's wedding was lovely. I got drunk, danced, and had tons of fun. The next day, James convinced me to go to Mohegan where we both were big time losers. Much to our surprise, though, when we returned to the Ghetto House on Sunday evening, a check from none other than CON ED was waiting in our mailbox! Yes folks, we got our $194.90 reimbursement check for our spoiled groceries. I was shocked that they actually sent them out so quickly, I was expecting it sometime around Thanksgiving.

This week:

Boring, typical week. Murda's car got towed on Wednesday. Don't ever shop at PC Richard's in Astoria, they are mean and tow your car when you park in their lot and go to the gym across the street. [Funny sidebar, on the ticket it said we were seen parking in their lot and then going into Pizzeria Uno (which is also next to our gym). Clearly I would have enjoyed Uno much more than the gym. I really wanted to set the tow truck man straight, but I didn't] The weird thing about this was during my lunch break Wednesday, I had this really strong urge to go to the ATM and take out a bunch of money for this upcoming weekend. Usually I would have waited until right before we left but I was like, being drawn to the BOA ATM. Turns out, both James and Chris left their wallets in the car when we went to the gym so I was the only one with any form of money. And it happened to be almost the exact $162 it cost to get his car back. Weird.

This weekend:

Tonight we are driving upstate to TRIZ-OY for the weekend. Tomorrow will be spent betting money on horses at SAR-A-TO-GA. I can't wait, I freaking love the track. Then tomorrow evening, James and the boys are going to Will's bachelor party (strippers and poker, how classy) and I will be reliving college with the roommates and going on the First Annual Gabriesmella Albany Pub Crawl.

And that, my friends, is what is up with me.

OMFG it's like my dream come true!

First the release of 90210 on dvd, now this:

Former teen queen Debbie Gibson is helping out Jordan Knight to promote his CD "Love Songs". They made a new cool collaboration song called "Say Goodbye" a duet which will be released on Sept. 12, 2006.

It's like 1988 all over again! Debbie Gibson was my first concert EVER, followed by New Kids the following summer (both happened to be at Lake Compounce LOL). I need to download this song immediately!!

I miss him :-(

A funny thing happened on my way home from work...

As I walked up the stairs from the fabulous R train on Friday, I was greeted by a very large group of people on the sidewalk. And an ambulance. And about 10 undercover cops. Obviously, being the nosey neighbor that I am, I stopped and started trying to figure out what was going on. Now, in a normal neighborhood, one could just ask one of their friendly neighbors what the 411 was. However, since I am the only English speaking person on my block, this was not the case. So I had to use my imagination. This is what I saw:

1. One skanky girl, in handcuffs, with belly shirt, ill-fitting pants and visible thong (the poor dear was having such a hard time pulling up her pants with the handcuffs on, and when she did, the audience laughed at her)
   
2. One skanky guy, on stretcher, with face sliced from ear to mouth
3. One skanky girl, covered in blood, first not handcuffed, then handcuffed after they brought out her skanky wood wedge sandals

From what I figured out and with the help of some overheard Spanish, I think it was a case of Husband-Wife-Mistress. Sadly, it wasn't important enough for the news, I can't find anything about on the Intarnet. So upsetting.

And this is why we are trying to break our lease.

Our pet's heads are falling off!

Sorry for the lack of proper updates, the heat has rendered me completely useless this week.

I am anti-paragraphs and complete thoughts today, so bear with me.

I realized today that the leaves are starting to fall off the trees in Madison Square Park. Maybe they're all dead from the heat. Or maybe it's almost fall. Irregardless, it bothered me.

I spent an obnoxious amount of money online today on makeup. Like $150 worth of obnoxiousness. It should be illegal to buy things online while bored at work. But DAMN, am I ever going to look fabulous when it all arrives!

I am going to CT tonight for a wedding. I am very excited.

I now only have 1 friend left who is in a serious relationship who isn't engaged or married. Craziness, I tell you, when did we get so OLD?!

I've been going to the gym for 2 weeks now and have muscles! Which will all be lost this weekend when I gorge out on wedding food and drinks. And Dairy Queen. This damn city really needs some Dairy Queens.

I have a new found hatred for wedding registries. I mean, I understand that 50 years ago, it made sense to register for pots and pans and cookie sheets and peelers and spatulas. But COME ON NOW, you aren't 18 and just moved out of your house. I would assume most people, at the age of 25, own enough kitchen tools to survive. When I get married (which of course, at this rate, will be in the year 2324) I am registering for a new laptop, a digital camera, and clothes. And makeup, lots of makeup. And expensive shoes. I mean, if someone wants a $250 set of freaking pots and pans, I can want a $300 Coach bag, right? I just don't get it. The last thing ON EARTH I want someone to buy me is anything related to the kitchen. My IKEA cutlery and plates (which have been in our friend's basement since March) is just fine with me for all eternity.

On an unrelated note, since my life has been kind of boring and not blog worthy lately, I've decided to start writing about fun things that happened in college (can you say "trying to relive my youth"). I'm hoping other people would be interested in it, if not, at least I have some form of record of it before I get too old and can't remember it anymore.

As a preview, here are a few things you all can look forward to in the coming weeks:
"The Day I Almost Got Arrested"
"The Day Our Apartment Got Broken Into"
"The Day of the Booze Cruise in the Bahamas"
and finally
"The Day I Cut My Butt"

Peace out homies, stay cool.

I am utterly speechless.

"Meanwhile, each resident of northwest Queens hit by last month's blackout can expect a $3 credit on the next electric bill, Con Ed CEO Kevin Burke told a state Assembly hearing yesterday - a sum labeled an "insult" by several local officials."

Wow, just wow. Three whole dollars! I'm rich, biotch!

It's the end of the world as we know it.

Just in case anyone didn't already think I lived in a war zone...

"Meanwhile in Astoria, on Broadway and 48th Street, a manhole explosion and fire in the area left several blocks of residents and businesses in the dark."

Yes, I live on 48th Street at Broadway. Thankfully, we didn't lose power. But I am sure glad I've started walking on the opposite side of the street as the manholes WITH LIVE POWER LINES COMING IN AND OUT OF THEM.

James called the landlord again yesterday asking about breaking the lease. Still no word. If one more manhole explodes, I'm packing up and moving to the Amish country.