My Tai Shan would never do such a thing!

Funniest thing ever.

A conversation with my mother...

[To preface the story, last week my mom told me that James dresses like a teenager. Every time I talk to her, she tells me how he needs to buy a new suit. And whenever she sees a black man on TV who looks nice, she tells me that James needs to buy whatever black man was wearing.]

Mom: "So, what did James buy when you went shopping this weekend?"
Me: "A winter hat and a casual jacket."
Mom: "Hmmmm... what kind of jacket?"
Me: "I don't know, its gray and striped and has some pink in it."
Mom: "Well, who would wear it, Kanye West or Snoop Dogg?"

[Clearly, mom my is hip.]

[Another preface: my mom always yells at me for not watching the same TV shows as her.]

Mom: "Now, I need you to watch 2 shows tonight, Studio 60 [which was awesome] and this other new show that starts at 8."
Me: "What's it called?"
Mom: "Hmmm, I don't know but its about this girl who goes to a high school reunion and sees her prom date that ended up being gay and it really messed her up in the head and then you see her husband and he's really REALLY gay and I think that you will really like it so you need to watch it."

Awesome.

Great article ever.

Everyone, please read this article. It will make you feel so good about yourself.

My favorite quote: "They concluded that men who drink earn 10 percent more than abstainers and women drinkers earn 14 percent more than non-drinkers."

Hot damn!

Get in there!

Ignoring the bad news posted yesterday, my Labor Day weekend was quite fabulous. Sunday night was quite the debaucherous event. Since Miss Melissa was so very persistent that I write about it, here is a highlight list of the night/morning/afternoon:

• Chris drinking Captain Morgan in the car
• $15 for a fabulous bright green bracelet
  
• No Maxim Models at the Maxim Model Party
• Melissa banging my head... more than once
• Chris and his make-out buddy
• Chris and his duck butt hair
  
• James telling a guy that was trying to dance with us that Chris had guns to protect us with. Turns out, the guy was a cop and showed us his badge. James then told him Chris had permits for every single gun.
  
• "I just wanted to tell you that you have great legs - and I'm a personal trainer. Whatever you are doing, keep on dong it." - Big Huge Black Bouncer Dude (apparently, the gym is doing wonders for me)
  
• Melissa making fun of how the cab driver talked and calling 411 TWICE trying to get the number for Astoria Diner so they could deliver bacon cheese fries to us (it didn't happen)
  
• James' grilled turkey and cheese from the floor
• The all day next day hangover
• 5,000 calorie trip to CHERRY VALLEY (the greatest place ON EARTH!!!!)
  
• James' hat flying out the window while he was driving (don't worry, he got it back)
  

And now, I am sick. Clearly all that fun came at a price!

Rest in peace, my friend.

An old friend passed away this weekend. Words cannot describe how terrible I feel. Even though its been years since we've talked, I feel so unbelievable sad. And mad. At 25, I should not be losing friends. With all the awful, hurtful people in this world, why do amazingly awesome people have to die? I don't know what to do with myself. I just want to run out of my office screaming but I have to put on this fake happy face and pretend everything is fine.

I cannot imagine what his family is going through right now. Matt was in the Peace Corps working in Africa, where he had been for the past 3 years. I cannot remember the last time we spoke, probably at some point in college. I have lost touch with so many old friends from high school and it saddens me. Even though we have all changed and grown apart, we had so many good times together.

I keep almost crying. I hate being emotional at work. I want to leave and never come back. I want to go town to town and go hug all of my friends. Nothing is easy anymore. Nothing is simple.

You will be missed <3