How I Didn't Spend $1500 on Five Bottles of Vodka

Well, I've joined the land of bloggers again. After my brief hiatus, I should provide you all with a fabulous post. But I'm tired, cranky, starving, and not feeling up to a lot of writing. However, I will tell a short story detailing my Saturday night.

(Names have been withheld to protect the identities of people and places involved)

It was a friend of a friend's birthday. We met up outside birthday boy's choice of bar. There seemed to be some drama about getting into said bar (there were about 15-18 in our group). Finally, we were allowed into the fancy smancy bar/lounge/whatever. So we walk downstairs into the basement (yes, fancy smancy place was in a basement) and follow the leader into a private room/cave. How lovely, I thought, we get our own little room. Then the waiter brings over some mixers and I'm like ah, they are going to order bottles. Now, I am not the college girl of years past and really only have a few drinks when I go out (because I am a lightweight and poor), so the idea of ordering bottles doesn't really appeal to me. After some more drama, it turns out that for us to sit in this little cave, it will cost us $1500. And for that $1500, we will get five bottles. Five. Five bottles. Of vodka. Not gold, not water from the fountain of your. Five bottles of vodka. And not even fancy vodka. So when I found out this little tidbit of info, I laughed. I laughed a lot. I told James. Smoke came out of his ears. We then decided we would not be enjoying the cave with the others and would be buying our own drinks from the bar like normal poor people. Needless to say, that put a bit of a damper on the rest of the evening. (Along with James getting wasted and then puking all over our bathroom when we finally got home that night).

So the moral of the story is, whenever you have to BEG to get into a bar (yes, they had to BEG to get in and pay $1500 for shitty vodka) it can never have a good outcome. You are much better off drinking Nick Lachey's on your couch in your un-air-conditioned apartment in the Latino ghetto.